jihaad:

jihaad:

jihaad:

name a scam bigger than women’s jeans

ok fair… name a scam bigger than women’s clothing in general

you win i resign

i-am-a-fish:

About me!

Defining traits:

• gay
• um

trans-mom:

Unpopular opinion but gender is fucking fake and if someone doesn’t want to identify as a “man,” “woman,” or your pre-approved Non-binary™ terms then so fucking be it. If someone wants to be stargender then who cares it has zero bearing on your life, it doesn’t matter if you understand it you football loving bastards.

whyistomholland:

taylortut:

tony: hey, want a stick of gum?

peter: sure! *puts the gum in his mouth, then expressionlessly opens his mouth and lets the gum fall onto the floor* 

tony:

peter: what the fuck was that

I’m crying

theraphos:

poupon:

andtheblueberrymuffin:

hey look, the black sarcophagus was actually opened for real and it has three bodies and incredibly bad smelling sludge inside

eta: they were army guys not alexander the great

Sometimes a family doesn’t have to include Alexander the Great; sometimes a family can be just three soldiers in an ominously shaped vat of sewage.

Addressing media fears that disturbing the tomb could trigger an implacable Pharaoh’s curse, Mr Waziri declared: “We’ve opened it and, thank God, the world has not fallen into darkness.

“I was the first to put my whole head inside the sarcophagus… and here I stand before you … I am fine.”

Exactly what someone who is definitely possessed by the sludge demon would say.

kingofsmyheart:

i wish y’all like talked to me…………. sent me asks………… told me about your days ………. its hard to be a hilarious and relatable icon with no one to chat w