Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.
“Melissa, did you punch him?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Why?”
“Because he snapped my bra strap.”
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”
“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”
“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”
I didn’t get suspended that day.
*slow clap for excellent parenting*
This is the parent I want to be omg
I went to a nun school.
The nuns there were like, so rad.
It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there.
There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy.
So what happened?
The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day.
Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
So I was at my desk during class looking like this:
Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.
If the Catholic church were run by like 90% of the nuns I know, the world would be a much better, much cooler place.
back in second grade, i got started at a new school in a new city. i was average height for my age group and a bit on the skinny side because i was constantly running, climbing, bike riding, and generally being a little shit.
well, i got into a fight with a school bully for grabbing at the dress of the only friend i’d made (i have always been shit at making friends) tearing the collar, and then looking down her top. this kid was a good head or two taller and easily three times my weight
and a fuckin fifth grader. i sucker punched him the way my mom taught me and when he went down, i caught him in the face with a super messy knee jap that should not have landed but did. i felt pretty great about myself, no lie.
well homeboy decided to go tell a teacher, thus breaking kid recess rules, and i got pulled into the principal’s office along with him. he was blubbering and red faced because i’d bloodied his nose and his mouth and was carrying on like i’d broken something. i remember thinking he looked like an idiot and sounded worse. she went into a long speech about conflict resolution and other stuff, and then called my mom and his dad.
so they both get there and neither of them are happy about getting pulled out of work but then the principal explained what had happened. the dad didn’t say anything but my mom asked me why i’d hit him and so i told her.
the dad looked at his kid, looked at me, and back to his kid. he then looked straight at the principal and said, i fucking quote and will never forget, “I don’t think we have a problem here.”
he then refused to allow the principal to punish me for knocking the snot out of his misbehaving son and promised this would not happen again while looking straight at his kid. it is one of the best memories i have.
So apparently Alchemy is a subject taught at Hogwarts and I bet all the muggleborn students have a fuckin field day with that one like can you imagine
Some poor, unsuspecting Hogwarts professor: Alright class, welcome to your first Alchemy lesson. Now, can anyone tell me what alchemy is?
Every muggleborn student in haunting unison: Alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all powerful art. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. This “equivalent exchange” is alchemys first law…
The Chaos Bitches 