Aries: Generally high maintenance. Needs lots of energy and attention. No bones. Supported by sacs of helium. Explosive when ignited.
Taurus: Quiet and clingy. Just wants to be by your side. Pays for things without asking. Extremely high resistance to radiation. Glows blue in the dark due to intense cobalt saturation.
Gemini: Moody and impulsive. Lots of adventures! Long phone calls. Makes you laugh. Bone structure fluctuates with the phases of the moon.
Cancer: Buys you coffee every morning. Protects you from the world. Buried out by the train tracks.
Leo: Playful, but a bit of a brat. Accepts dominance but only after a bit of teasing. Concerned about your safety. Old radio circuitry implanted in their skull. Spends their spare time frantically writing down incomprehensible transmissions. Embarrassed by this.
Virgo: Empathetic and touchy. Always wants to hold your hand. Big sweaters and rainy days. Largest predatory mammal in north america.
Libra: Talkative, funny and sassy. Saves up to take you on weird dates to interesting places. A bit to competitive for their own good. Old jackets and beanies to cover the colony of mycellium that runs along their skin.
Scorpio: Clumsy and caring in the most endearing way. Modest but heartfelt gifts that really mean something to you. Fiercely protective. Black market weapons dealer. Holds you. Enjoys being held in turn.
Ophiuchus: Mysterious past. Covered in unnatural burns. Odd inhuman eyes constantly scanning the horizon. Hates the sound of beating wings.
Sagittarius: Really fuckin cool. Popular but treats it like its nothing. Secretly likes the attention. Eyes only for you. Busy, but somehow takes time out of their schedule for you. No eyelids. Barbed, prehensile tongue.
Capricorn: Solitary and thoughtful. Loves deeply but never the best at showing it. Enjoys just spending time with you in silence. An introvert to the end. Poor eyesight, tracks your movement with an electrosensory organ.
Aquarius: Voracious learner. Texts first. Makes plans without exactly telling you every time. Bit of a hassle but always a fun time. Requires a new host every six months or so.
Pisces: Artistic and a bit of a weirdo in the best kind of way. Dangerously lovable. A bit clueless. Extremely affectionate. Likes it when you’re rough with him. Cannot leave the ancestral territories for more than a few days at a time.
Maybe misusing the name of God isn’t so much about saying the shallow words, “Oh my God,” as it is about using the name of God to justify discrimination, oppression, injustice, racism, slavery, xenophobia, poverty, sexism, islamophobia, ableism, homophobia, war, & the list can go on.
Amen
When I was a wee little Gaslight attending Catholic Sunday schools, and then later in college when I was taking a Bible as Literature class, both my stolid neighborhood deacon and my dapper Protestant professor said almost the exact same thing:
“Taking the Lord’s name in vain isn’t when someone says ‘God damn it.’ It’s when a mortal, fallible human being presumes to put words in God’s mouth and say ‘This is what God wants you to do.’“
If you want to have an abortion, it’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it. Another thing you can do with your body if you want is roundhouse anyone who tells you you’re not allowed to get an abortion🤟
If you have billions of dollars it shouldn’t be a crime to steal from you. You’ve got enough money that your security should be your own responsibility and anyone who manages to swipe from your hoard deserves applause for besting a supervillain
Over a billion and you reach the social connotations that dragons have, as in stealing from you is considered a Challenge rather than a Crime
WE ALL LOVE DRAGONS, BUT IN THIS DYSTOPIAN ECONOMY, STEALING THEIR GOLD IS NOT JUST AN ACCOMPLISHMENT, BUT A LIVELIHOOD.
Barn Owls are THE BEST. They are in a separate family from all other North American owls, and instead of whoo hoooting they do the TV STATIC SCREAM FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES.
Gotta love the raptor presentations at the state parks! This was at Lockhart State Park tonight at our Master Naturalist meeting. These presenters rehabilitate injured birds of prey through Austin Wildlife Rescue (austinwildliferescue.org), an organization that always NEEDS VOLUNTEERS to help out with the adorable baby animals. If you’re in Central Texas, check them out!
June 18, 2018
The barn owls are members of the family “tytonidae” while every other owl species is a member of the “strigadae” family.
While we typically think of owls like the one in the original post as being barn owls, every species in the family can technically be considered a barn owl.
This includes the various species of masked owls which are relatively similar to your common barn owl
As well as both varieties of sooty owl which are strikingly different than the common barn owl
There are also the grass owls which are behaviorally different than other barn owls in their habits of living on the ground rather than trees
And the two odd tytos out, the red owl and ashy faced owl respectively. Scientists know almost nothing about the former and no individuals have been kept in captivity despite being discovered quite some time ago. Even photographs of it are rare, but it appears to be an orange barn owl with a pink face.
Structurally speaking, barn owls actually have very few traits in common with strigadae owls as their face and beak shapes and proportions are entirely different. There are also differences in their legs and talons, while their similarities are limited to feather composition, ear placement, spinal structure, and binocular vision among a few other internal components.
That being said, barn owls are far from the only family of non-hooting owls as hooting is almost exclusive to larger species, typically genus Strix or bubo. Many other species will trill, screech, and/or hiss.
Barn owls are rather unique in having an incredibly keen sense of hearing, even in comparison to other owls. They can hear and discern between different heartbeats and triangulate the sound perfectly due to their satellite dish-like face shape.
In addition, this barn owl is not actually Tyto alba, it’s a Tyto furcuta, T. alba is the species native to Western Europe while T. furcuta is native to North America.
Many thanks for this owlditional quality content. I give three screams of approval 👍
bay owls (genus Phodilus) are in Tytonidae and they are some of my favorite owls of all time. they can be found in Southeast Asia, and some sites claim central Africa as well but I’m not sure?
they can shut their eyes and look eyeless
OR OPEN THEIR EYES WIDE THIS AND LOOK LIKE DEMONS
did I mention they have the best judgemental faces because of their eye positioning
and babies look like tiny demonic gryphons
last I went looking, not a lot is known about bay owl behavior aside from general Tyto habits. I just know they’re so out there appearance-wise and I love them so much for it.
Good afternoon, and thank you all for being here. During these proceedings we will determine how to properly deal with men who wear shorts in temperature lower than 32 degrees Fahrenheit, or 0 degrees Celsius
ride by on rollerskates and spray paint their exposed legs a stunning mauve hue
the biggest lie, i think, the internet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny little twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
like a dragon…a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet…a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid form…would look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn’t even love them and go…yeah I’d like to fuck that
Counterpoint, my good man:
Dragonsfuck
Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I’m Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I’m not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
Counter-counterpoint: dragons are SUPER horny
Counter-counter-counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPERhorny they’ve got better prospects than spindly little bards!!!! They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!!! They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting volcano!
There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons; so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn’t washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon’s lair!
Seriously!!!
I don’t care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bite! When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can’t at least True Polymorph to make things interesting
triple-counterpoint:
you’re right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard’s sexual prospects with this post
OP is right and they should say it
Actually…
As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for horny-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM’s carefully planned Big Bad encounter and
fuck the dragon.
I’m not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so
The Chaos Bitches 