“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.
Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
An unfortunate side effect of The Internet being what it is, is that there is no line drawn between the personal and political. Any statement is readily interpreted as a political opinion, and any voiced frustration with one’s personal life that in any way intersects with broader political issues is read as “this person believes that they experience systematic oppression for this”.
@wellofloneliness What I am talking about is when something like “Man, it sucks how no one wants to visit my house because I own a pet python” is instantly interpreted as “Oh, you think you’re oppressed because you own a snake!” Or, if you complain about how you are afraid that high rise jeans are going to go out of style and you won’t be able to find them in stores again, it becomes “Oh, you think you’re oppressed because department stores don’t cater to your 90’s mom preferences?”
Innocuous personal griping gets amplified and skewed into ‘oh this is an expression of your secret problematic beliefs’. I saw it recently on a post where a straight girl mentioned sadly that she gets less desired attention from guys after she cut her hair and people jumped on her for all kinds of stuff she wasn’t actually implying at all. There was no reason to think she had anything against sapphic women, or that she thought that men should hit on butches, or anything like that… but it was taken as a Grand Statement rather than the mild personal struggle it was almost certainly meant as.
Oof yeah I’ve seen that before. I think ‘aimless complaining with no real purpose, malice, or political motive’ is a pretty natural human behavior and I’m not sure why people are so reactive to it. Some folks are suggesting this is an American thing, and maybe so. I wonder why that should be.
There’s a related idea that ‘if you complain about it, you must want to do something about it’. If you disliked how someone was rude to you, you must want some kind of retribution, right?
I remember when I made a post about being frustrated at how difficult it is to find well-made manual labor clothes in women’s sizes that are actually meant to be worn for working. People took this to mean that I think that women dressing fashionably in flimsy clothing are like… bad or foolish people, while others were offended that I would complain about an inconvenience rather than Taking Action and learning to sew heavy denim or petitioning companies or whatever.
Edit: Another manifestation of this is "Oh, you don’t like X show? Why – what’s problematic about it?” as if disliking something for trivial, non-ethical/political reasons is unthinkable, which I think leads people to try to force ethical justifications for their not liking things. Which is… honestly really destructive.
This is me going to be explaining everything that happened to me in detail about the subject mentioned above. It’s just me ranting and letting it all out so just ignore this you don’t have to read it. But If you wanna help hear me out. Warning it may get p graphic.
Ok so. My rapist is a family member of mine. A sibling. He’s been making me do sexual acts since I was 5 (+ some other people.). At first he was just molesting me. Then he started raping me. He did it with himself then painful objects around the house. Hell he did it in front of my parents and they never noticed. He forced me to suck him off and other disgusting things like that. It was happening for years. As I grew up I started to be able to defend myself, but he didn’t stop trying. Trying to manipulate me and touch me in any way he could.
I was so disgusted and ashamed. I never wanted to tell anyone about it. My parents found out this year. Because a psychiatrist manipulated me to tell her about it and since I was 17 (it didn’t matter I’d be an adult in 2 months to her) she reported it to the police. She wrote them 1 single sentence and put me in danger. The police just came to our front door and gave them a piece of paper requesting my presence with my mom. With that one sentence abt it. He could’ve hurt me. What if my parents weren’t home? What if they didn’t believe me? I had to explain to them suddenly all the horrible things that have been happening to me when I’ve never properly talked about it to anyone. Can you imagine how scary and uncomfortable and how horrible that situation was for me?
Of course that thing denied everything and we went to the police. They did nothing. Then social services got involved. They did nothing. Okay. My mom and other family members say they’ll figure it out. I’m still stuck here. My parent’s won’t kick him out and expect me to keep living here and be patient because he’s “their son.”. They even said if it was anyone else they’d kill him. Like. Thanks. And now I’m here still. Stuck in this god damn house. With that god damn thing right next door. The walls are thin too so I can actually hear his disgusting voice right now laughing and talking to his friends. While I here suffer and cry and deal with all the shit I had to and still have to go through. I’m tired. I wish I didn’t want to live so badly so I could just end it all. I can’t do that though. I want to live. I want to be happy and comfortable and safe.
This isn’t the whole story but the basic important things are here. Nobody can help me. Except you. If you have just 3 dollars to spare you can buy me 1 ko-fi. ( https://www.ko-fi.com/cutiepatoodieart ). How it works is you buy me a ko-fi which is 3 dollars (you can buy more if you want) and I get those 3 dollars. If all of my followers gave me just 1 dollar I’d be able to move out and live well. So I’m begging you again to help me. Because I just can’t do it anymore. But I realize this is a lot to ask and you don’t have any obligation to do so. But if you are in a position to help someone please do. There are so many other people who need help. Give to charities,help people you know,etc. Just please be kind. I wish I didn’t have to ask for money like this. I’d rather work for it but I’m not able to right now because of my disability and illnesses. I don’t know if anyone even read this but if you did thank you for listening to me. I never talked about it like this. I just have to let it all out and sadly ask for help because my own family doesn’t want to even though they easily can.
I wore my asexual flag scarf to class on Friday and in tutorial, as soon as I sat down, a girl sitting next to me said “Hey, are those the ace colours as a scarf?”
!! Recognised in the wild!
there’s someone who lives in the same dorm as me who wears an ace colored sweatshirt and i asked them if it was bc they were ace and they said yes and we high-fived!
!!
The true power of pride flags.
I wore my ace scarf and ran into a girl with an ace patch on her bag. Greatest day of my life.
There’s a girl who has the pan flag draw on her bag in my creative writing class, and I squealed when I saw it.
GOOD CONTENT
When I was helping run the lgbtqia+ soc. stall we had at the school’s fresher’s fayre, I had an ace flag draoed around me and a group of younger students came up to our table, encouraging their ace friend to talk to us.
It was fantastic, ace recognition and solidarity in public is like such a great thing to experience
Someone once said they liked my button and I’m like which one and she said the ace button and I’ve never been so happy in my life. And I met a guy who was ace as well and recognized my pin as well. He’s part of my d&d group.
One of the girls in my class painted her nails the colors of the ace flag, and I asked her if she could do mine.
Next thing you know it’s two short ace girls walking around and holding hands with ace colored nails.
I run the queer student group at my college… One thing we do is hand out buttons in all sorts of flags (and take requests).
It’s so great seeing them around town, hearing about people giving them to friends and family. We’ve given out hundreds at our events, and they’ve made their way around.
Treat an accessibility device as if it’s part of that person’s body, because it functionally is. Therefore, all rules about consent-to-touch-or-interact apply to all mobility devices.
If people could get it through their heads that they need to treat all mobility devices as though they are part of that person’s body, and that consent is therefore needed to interact with the device, that would be great.
Smash that mf reblog button if you stoically ignore all labelled washing instructions and everything your mama ever told you about laundry and just send those bastards hurgling around in an overfilled tub to meet either death or glory
Something I learned from a costume designer: if an item can be washed multiple ways the designer is only legally obligated to put one of the ways on the tag, but if there’s only one way to wash that item they have to put Only on the instructions
If the tag says “Dry Clean” it’s safe to machine wash but the designer thinks it looks better if you get it dry cleaned
But if it says “Dry Clean Only” you will destroy it if you wash it any other way
Reblogging for that last bit which this 37 yr old adult did not lnowy
The Chaos Bitches 