An assignment I actually wrote on the board this week:
In groups, write 2 sentences (in Latin) using only the
vocabulary in your textbook. Make sure to include:
1 irregular verb
1 imperfect verb
5 cases
BEES?
I’ll elaborate in a minute, but I need to stop laughing
first.
So I’d originally planned on a 20-minute grammar lesson,
followed by a handout to be finished in pairs, but I’d made the mistake of telling
this class about Latin Day in April and how we were encouraging them to come to
school in costume. All they wanted to do was talk about costume opportunities
(and since I would like to keep my job, I had to explain why staging Caesar’s assassination
in the middle of the lunchroom would be a Bad Idea), so I shifted gears and decided
to channel that creative/social energy into a different assignment.
After lugging them through a condensed version of the
grammar lesson on irregular verbs in the imperfect tense, I split them into
groups and pulled an assignment out of the air.
The requirements:
Write two sentences in Latin
Use ONLY vocabulary from the textbook
Include at least ONE irregular verb
Include at least ONE verb in the imperfect tense
Include 5 (out of 6, including the vocative)
cases
The goal:
To write them on the board for their ‘rival’
groups to translate
They are a competitive bunch, so I knew this would be enough
to encourage them to go All Out. But then one student raised her hand.
“Can our sentences be about bees?” she asked.
Bees. I swear this class has a thing with Bees. I hesitated.
“There are no bees in your textbook.”
“Yes, but you taught us that word.”
I had, back when this same student had asked me how to say “the
bees are suffering” for a kahoot she was writing. Granted, this same student is
planning on coming in on Latin Day dressed as Caligula’s horse, so none of this
surprises me.
I opened it up to the other ‘groups’. “What do you think?” I
asked. “Should we let them write about bees?”
“No,” said one student with a heavy sort of solemnity, looking
me dead in the eye. “We should all be required
to write about bees.”
As the rest of the class eagerly cheered and nodded in
agreement, three things occurred to me.
The word for bee, “apis”, is a 3rd-declension
i-stem noun, which they could use more practice on.
They’re going to want to describe the bees,
which means they will likely also be practicing noun-adjective agreement with a
3rd-declension i-stem noun, which they could also use more practice
on.
This could be flipping hilarious.
And so I added “BEES?” to the list.
The results:
1. apes ingentes Hannibalis ad Romam ibant. Moenia vincunt et Romanis miserum dant.
“The giant bees of Hannibal
were going to Rome. They conquer the walls and give misery to the Romans.” In hindsight the noun miseriam would have been better, but still solid. Mentions bees AND misery. Implies an AU where Hannibal brought giant bees
across the Alps instead of elephants. Carthage wins the Punic Wars. 10/10
2. Argus ignem sui amoris dare volebat ieiunis, ieiunis apibus. “Arge!” apes dicunt. “Nolumus accipere ignem tui amoris.” Argus desperat et se in mare conicit.
“Argus was wishing to give
the fire of his love to the hungry, hungry bees. ‘Argus!’ the bees say. ‘We do
not want to accept the fire of your love.’ Argus despairs and hurls himself
into the sea.” Descriptive. Tragic. Mentions fire. Has something for
everyone. Also 10/10
3. regis magna apis volabat, et volebat occidere regi. “Beeyonce,” inquit, “uxor es. Ama me.”
“The great bee of the king
was flying, and he was wishing to kill for the king. ‘Beeyonce,’ he said. ‘You
are my wife. Love me.’ ” 100/10 for Beeyonce.
Growing up in the 80s and early 90s really made quicksand a thing to be feared.
Your only real danger from quicksand is getting stuck in a tidal area and drowning when the tide comes in
the fear is back
There’s also that dry quicksand shit
What makes dry quicksand different?
It dry
idk why you used that Princess Bride gif when that’s clearly lightning sand
These people don’t know the difference between Lightning Sand, Pea Sand, Pebble Sand, Drum Sand, Glass Sand, Moist Sand, Shadow Sand, Rice Sand, Fine Sand, Dusty Sand, Chipped Sand, Grit Sand, Crystal Sand, Glow Sand and Scrape Sand.
I’m not even going to try to pretend I know more than half of those
Lightning Sand is actually sand that’s been struck by lightning and makes glass. Pea sand is sand that is not quite the size of peas but close. Happens mostly where sandstone cliffs get a lot of upward and sideways winds over thousands of years, breaks nodules off and rolls them into spheres. Pebble sand is irregular shaped grains about the size of pea sand. Drum sand is sand that actually vibrates when you either walk on it or the wind blows on it. The sand dune voice noises you hear are drum sand. Glass sand is sand made from glass fragments. Moist sand is sand that has water under it so you dig down and hit moist sand, it clumps. Shadow sand is sand that is black, usually made from lava flows that have been ground down to pumice. Rice sand is sand that has grains the size of rice grains. Fine sand is the sand you use for hourglasses and the like. Dusty sand is mostly dust with some fine grains, more or less powder. Chipped sand is sand that has chips of rock and other debris in it like sticks and bone. Grit sand is sand that is gritty enough to rub against itself and hear crunching. Crystal sand is sand that is made from quartz or other mineral crystals. Glow sand is yellow uranium sand, was used in Vaseline glass to make it yellow green. Called Vaseline glass because it has a look like it’s Vaseline. That’s the stuff I inhaled. Scrape Sand is sand is any sand being blown around fast enough to scrape paint or skin off something.
academia is ruined, we need to throw it back to the days when scholars were only after the cure for death, i want to wear a cool robe and get funding from the king to just do whatever the hell and kind of poison him
[Drawing of a brown and gray wolpertinger saying “It’s okay to dream, but you deserve a good reality too, not just good dreams. You can have a good reality and you will. There is a beautiful future already on its way.” in a gray speech bubble.]
The Chaos Bitches 