Reblog if you’re shorter than 5’8.

gil-estel:

the only reason ed is dressed so sedately at the end of the manga is because he hasn’t figured out how to make his own clothes without alchemy yet

dinosaur-laser-comics:

back-that-sass-up:

gayforjotaro:

procrastinationstan:

elliexer:

beetlebongos:

breakfast

lunch

dinner

dessert

cool what the FUCKING HECK does this mean tho

has. has no one else seen these. gen zillenials where u at

egberts:

bahorelfanclub:

why are there bruises on my knees

i snuck into your house while you were sleeping and used one of those doctor reflex tester hammers to beat the shit out of your knees specifically

theriu:

momnar:

momnar:

momnar:

Okay so

:D<

It’s like 😀 but my hands are together because I’m very invested in what you have to say

l respect your opinion and raise you a compromise! Both are right and good we make a great team.

You’re right!!! You’re so right!!!! Give emojis cute hands 2016!!!!!

These are so cute and this is a sweet and wonderful post!

empirefarts:

lumpawaroospaceprincess:

fergzillar:

Some dude: Hey bro you got the time?

Me: Yeah it’s fuckinuuuuuh [pulls a cat out of the inside of my jacket and looks it dead in the eyes] about 6pm

Context:

I thought this was some shitpost and I just accepted it

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney – early 20th century

Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

freelance-honey-badger:

thatpettyblackgirl:

Overheard in a shop:

Man: Didn’t want to disturb you when u were on the phone but u are in the US now. Speak English.

Woman: Excuse me?

Man: If u want to speak Mexican, go back to Mexico. Here we speak English.

Woman: I spoke Navajo. If u want to speak English, go back to England.

See what happens when you go out of your way to not mind your business

zanimez:

me: time for sleepy 🙂

my garbage body: hot hot hot no cold no HOT bad bad, throw up??? no, hungry, NO remember that mistake you made at work. Internalize it. Never forget. Back hurt yes headache YES hot yes roll over r-RA RA RASPUTIN, RUSSIA’s GREATEST LOVE MACHI-

lauramercierbodyscrub:

shout out to all the people still following me even though im a fucking idiot