– Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)
– Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks
– Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head.
– Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself
– Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are
– Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time
– When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly.
– Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.
– Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it.
– The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy.
i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better.
To the few guys I know having surgery this week!
-the headache you get a couple days after the surgery because the anesthesia is leaving your body hurts 200 times more than the surgery itself. And even that isn’t too bad.
-after a week or, you ITCH. It’s awful. Try not to touch your stitches too much. An ice pack will help.
probably my fave thing about norse mythology is that nobody in scandinavia knew what mistletoe was so you end up with descriptions of it everywhere from some kind of tree to straight up a fucking magic sword
like mistletoe irl is this dweeb-ass parasitic motherfucker not entirely unlike somebody kicked a soccer ball into a tree, but it didnt grow in iceland or denmark and only grew in a few places in norway or sweden, but word on the street 1300 years ago was that misteltān down in england was pretty fucking magical n next thing you know it’s getting calqued to mistelteinn, and –teinn is only really used in sword names so it’s gotta be pretty badass right?
in denmark it becomes, understandably, a magic sword, and in iceland an oddly sword- or spear-shaped tree: “stóð um vaxinn, | vollom hæri, / miór oc mioc fagr | mistelteinn”, per voluspá.
anyway there’s no moral here i just think the idea of throwing mistletoe at somebody and them just……dropping dead for some gd reason is fucking hilarious, so @snorri i hate you with a passion but thanks for this
i just realized neither of those sources are english nor in fact in living languages, sorry im like this. here’s gesta danorum iii in english, it describes höðr using a magic sword that allows him to strike down the demigod baldr. and the old norse reads “stood full-grown, | high above the plain, / slender and very beautiful | was the mistletoe”, which… in no way, shape, or form is an accurate description of mistletoe. höðr proceeds to throw the whole fucking plant at baldr’s head and that just….kills him…….apparently………
Are…are you telling me…the legendary sword Mysteltainn…is just “the mistletoe sword (whatever the hell mistletoe is)”???
The Chaos Bitches 