fuzzynecromancer:

literallyaflame:

when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

This took a different direction than I was expecting.

retrosoulz:

ruinedchildhood:

tonynoneya:

tomhollandasf:

tfry1440:

vinebox:

shes-too-addictive:

ruinedchildhood:

vinebox:

sourceof-happiness:

vinebox:

ebonyprincess33:

aalyssaa017:

pocblog:

pocblog:

dailytweets:

#TeamChocolateChip

💀💀💀💀

If that’s the case you die to oatmeal raisin

He don’t even like raisins 😂

Tumblr detectives. What kinda cookies are these. 🤔

FUCKIN OAT MEAL FUCKIN RAININ ASS COOKIES 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️😷

This was a journey 😂😂😂

I love this whole thread

but notice he ate the non raisin cookie. REDEMPTION!

This is gold.

your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord:

odinoco:

yourownpetard:

cheattoe:

a-bore-of-a-whore:

lady-of-greenwood:

sindri42:

solwardenclyffe:

sindri42:

sidereanuncia:

ontologicalidiot:

an-actual-stone:

glumshoe:

colonelmagpie:

colonelmagpie:

colonelmagpie:

colonelmagpie:

Evidence:

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

Science!

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

you mean like

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

Elves are flat-earthers

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

This post really was a rollercoaster.

for elves it was a straight line

Everything comes back around with a whole new (flat) world of discourse.

tikkunolamorgtfo:

fromchaostocosmos:

yehudmeme:

rebel-without-a-cunt:

kaylapocalypse:

enyafan:

microcroft:

microcroft:

things i never expected to learn through a tedtalk but now am glad to know:

the founder of Sirius XM radio is a sapphic trans woman and is currently trying to preserve her wife’s consciousness in a digital file so her wife can be immortal in the body of a robot.

heres the tedtalk if you dont believe because everyone deserves to know this reality of the amazing world in which we live 

Holy shit you neglected to mention that when her daughter got a terminal disease with no cure or treatment possible she literally went to the library got some medical textbooks and taught herself enough biochemistry to actually begin developing a drug that halted the disease good god why have we never heard of this absolute genius

YOU KNOW WHY

 YOU K N O W   W  H Y

Real life tony stark is a gay trans woman

Her name is Martine Rothblatt. She also founded United Therapeutics, which is a company that works to find cures for “””small””” diseases that don’t necessarily affect a lot of people. 

oh, yes–and she’s Jewish.

Here is a picture of Martine and her wife, Bina Aspen:

Real life Tony Stark is not just a gay trans woman she is a Jewish gay trans woman.

Also does anyone know if her wife, Bina, is also Jewish cause I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a goy named Bina so I was just curious.

Yep, Bina is Jewish, too! She said she changed her birth name to her Hebrew name when she converted 😀

scanalan:

prettydoddleoddle:

I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

You can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can’t bring him to life