everyonesmadhere1556:

punkmicheal:

my parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying

reblog if you too are scared to drink anything but water when someone takes you out to eat

notcuddles:

kylesbogusjourney:

I have this really bad habit of sending two unrelated texts back to back but bridging them with an “also”

So it’ll be like “hey have you seen this funny tweet” quickly followed by “also the news said polio is back”

But have you tried sending THREE unrelated texts and bridging the second gap with “also also”?

mechalesbian:

tumblr: releases color text

the gays, immediately: HHHHHH PINK TEXT BABEY!!!

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

memereposts:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

How come reading tea leaves is seen as this sophisticated, witchy thing but if I slam dunk an open can of Chef Boyardee ravioli onto the pavement in the gas station parking lot to see what kind of soda the old ones think I should buy, foodstuff divination suddenly isn’t cool anymore?

‘Tis the fuckin’ season, friends!! Get out there and live your worst life!!

What the fuck is happening

Why don’t you grab a can of ravioli and ask!

verylostpenguin:

verylostpenguin:

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

nerdfighter67639:

norablook:

hello-copter:

halloween

OR

pride month 2: electric spookaloo

@yourdapperstalker