there’s something so satisfying about umbrellas that just immediately pop open when you press a button.. so suave.. so sexy.. watch me open my umbrella and shield myself from the rain in one swift movement and tell me that’s not smooth. not hot. you can’t. because it was SO sexy
i’m never hotter than when i just pop open my umbrella and casually swing it to my shoulder. that’s peak me baby. never gonna be any cooler than that
A girl I liked convinced me to stab a man, so I did. Felt guilty for a bit, then promptly forgot about it and walked around with the murder weapon for a couple of hours, going about my business, walking my dog. Eventually I was cornered by a plainclothes police officer who asked me why I had a bloody knife; I told him I was looking after it for my bogan cousin. He said, “You’re under arrest,” and I was like,, “No, I’m not, watch this,” and then I woke up.
Moby Dick rocks. this dude fuckin loves talkin abt whales
Racist? Yeah. Gay? Very yeah
It’s weird bc Melville has this proto-relativism thing happening here where he’s like “Yeah that scary brown dude is a savage pagan cannibal but who’s to say that’s wrong? Perhaps he sees my pristine Christian ways as equally savage. Are we not all God’s creations? His tribal ways are just as important to me as my civilized ways are to me, and who’s to say whose ways are better?”
Like dang dude you got real close to something surprisingly modern
Like was nobody gonna tell me about the homoeroticism in Moby Dick or was I just supposed to find that out for myself by reading Moby Dick
The Chaos Bitches 