I will be participating on a guacamole contest tomorrow at work. My objective is not to win, but to make every single one of the judges cry.
I will add every single chili I am able to find at the store, all of them.
All the chilis I could find at the store… i wonder if it will be enough 😛
Ready for the judges!!
So updates after the contest! I didn’t win.
This guacamole had the talent that when you take the first bite of your chip it isnt that spicy, but after a few seconds the feeling starts to spread. The judges bravely took a bite and were all happy and as I walked away from the table they started to gasp when the full force of the 6 different types of chili hit them at once.
People were free to taste it afterwards and every face of first surprise and then pain filled my heart with happiness.
I have never seen so much people enjoy suffering tho, because they finished everything so fast I even got time to make a second batch before the winners were announced.
Overall this was great and I had lots of fun making others suffer 😀
I keep thinking about that straight girls in gay bars post and so here’s a list of things that straight people have done to me or around me in gay bars
I ask a pretty girl if she wants to dance. She looks at me with disgust and says, “I’m not gay” in the snottiest valley girl voice I’ve ever heard.
A short greasy dude will not leave me the fuck alone at the bar. I tell him multiple times “I am a lesbian.” He says, “me too” and in the same breath tells me I’ll like it if I try it. When the guy steps away to talk to his friend, three gay men surround me and buy me a drink and swear to keep him away from me for the rest of the night.
2am, drunk, cheering on my favorite local drag queen on stage. A contestant from Dr*g R*ce is in the audience, hanging out, supporting her friends. The straight girls next to me spot her and start shrieking at the top of their lungs and trying to get to her. Security escorts the contestant elsewhere so no one could get near her. Not a single straight person in the audience tips any of the performing queens.
I’m by myself on the dance floor, feeling myself to Bey, as you do. A man comes up to me and starts dancing. After a minute, he starts grinding on me and tries to kiss me. I put my hand in his face and tell him I’m a lesbian. He says something very vulgar that I don’t completely remember because I was drunk af. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the dance floor completely. I end up on the patio with a beautiful butch girl and when I tell her what just happened, she offers to beat him up for me.
A girl with a bachelorette party, telling me, with complete seriousness, that she was just discriminated against at the bar for being straight. What happened? The bartender didn’t pay attention to her immediately and she had to wait “forever” for her drink.
Related: Almost every negative review of my favorite gay bar is by a straight person. At least half of them claim that the bartenders or bouncers discriminated against them.
And then this one isn’t bad, it just made me laugh when it happened
Guy: hey can you ask the bartender for a drink for me? They usually pay more attention to girls Me: oh baby not here they don’t lol Guy: ?? Me: This is a gay bar, sweetheart Guy: I… oh… *looks at the shirtless male bartenders, the go go boys, the rainbow flags, the drag queen behind me, the glitter everywhere* *walks away in a daze*
Okay first of all, you’re heterophobic if you think straight people are the cause of all of the problems in a gay bar.
Second, just, fuck off.
“heterophobic”
Yep, heterophobic, like homophobic but against straight people.
I am not against straight people! I can’t be heterophobic and I have like bunches of straight friends. They are great, we get together and do straight people stuff like mini golf and yelling outside of abortion clinics.
I can’t be heterophobic when I have at least three straight friends and I don’t judge them! Like, as long as they aren’t being straight in front of me because no one needs to see that lol. But no, I love the straights!
news flash: asking straights to be Decent Human Beings in queer spaces is now heterophobic
…so I told him of an awesome internet site he’d love. A short little webcomic he could finish in a half hour, called homestuck. Every 10 minutes he asks me if it’s almost done, and every 10 minutes I tell him he is. This has been going on for 3 hours. He has a math test tomorrow.
you literally punished someone by telling them about homestuck
This is gonna get me into some controversy and I don’t care.
Shadowpeople are dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.
Now, there are a lot of shadow-type CREATURES that aren’t dangerous, but are often
mistaken as shadowpeople. I have friends who have
shadow-based familiars, various shadow spirit friends, and I’ve met several
shadow type fae, elementals, and other things. They were quite pleasant. They
just happened to be in the shape of a shadow.
Those are not Shadowpeople™.
You can argue all you want that you’ve met kind shadowpeople. I
will remain firm in my belief that those are not actual shadowpeople. I’ve had
people try and introduce me to their “nice shadowperson friend” and
it’s not a shadowperson at all. Just a spirit that happens to be in the shape
of a shadow.
Actual Shadowpeople:
are attracted to toxic environments
have a heavy (negative) effect on the
emotions of everyone in the vicinity
feed on your aura/energy until you’re exhausted
are capable of very physical
poltergeist activity
can make people physically and spiritually ill
in extreme cases can physically harm humans (scratches, bruises, etc.)
Every shadowperson I’ve encountered has been outright malicious and showed up to feed on toxic situations and make things worse. This holds true with the rest of my coven and other witchy/psychic circles I’m in.
Do what you want in your practice, but I won’t help anyone work with shadowpeople because they’re dangerous entities that I don’t want to get tangled up with.
me, reading the beginning of the post: man my house is full of shadowy dudes and cats me, reading the end of the post: Oh…………………………. Oh. Him.
TL;DR i have both shadowy dudes and a Shadow Dude™ and I have an angel I call on to get rid of the actual Shadow Dude because fuck me it’s a scary motherfucker
New ADHD test: the doctor injects you with as much caffeine as possible without killing you and observes the effects
Honestly mood
what kind of miracle juice are you describing, caffeine just gives me panic attacks
But actually tho… If I want to be at all productive at work I need at least 1 cup of stong coffee. Or two. Depends.
We are firmly divided into two camps
I have such an inconsistent reaction to caffeine. I will either feel high for days on end, or feel very anxious, or just become more focused and less hyperactive.
NO BUT my adhd bestie literally cannot have too much caffeine because her heart rate will go up so high that it could kill her so is that the panic attack camp or another, third camp.
I never consume caffeine because i find all caffeinated beverages unbearable. Can’t do coffee, can’t do anything fizzy?
The couple times ive had it though it made me feel like…kind of moderate and focused.
The two camps are “caffeine has opposite effect” and “caffeine works, but TOO well”
Monsters are good. But there are these ones called Spike that are age restricted. Spikes give me panic attacks.
Caffeine makes me productive for about five minutes, until I vibrate so hard I drop something and give myself a panic attack and have to hide under my desk with the shakes until it wears off……
caffeine doesn’t do anything to me?? like i can down coca cola and nithing happens exept probably organ damage
Conclusion: this test would be effective but not advisable
The Chaos Bitches 