cripples-r-us-swag:

softshirringsound:

quadriparesis:

anti-ableism:

cactus-spirit:

anti-ableism:

Being Disabled =/= Rude

A lot of abled standards force neurodivergent people to be seen as rude.

Examples:

Abled people value eye contact to the point where they assume you aren’t trustworthy if you frequently look away.

Abled people consider handshakes to be an important part of meeting people and if you avoid them they think you’re disrespectful.

Abled people expect you to do things like hold doors, smile, and make small talk with strangers and if you don’t they think you’re stuck up or mean.

Feel free to add.

Either mumbling or talking too loudly; having poor control of your volume.

Interrupting because you don’t know when it’s your turn to talk and despite efforts you have virtually no control over this.

Having short term memory issues so people think you weren’t listening or didn’t care about what they were saying.

Being too blunt/ honest rather than sensitive to telling people what they want to hear.

Not being able to work well in groups so you get labeled as uncooperative.

For physically disabled people:

Standing/ sitting around when you “should” be helping with certain tasks that involve manual labor so people think you’re lazy and unhelpful.

also for physically disabled people: if your handshakes are “bad” or “weak” that makes you look bad. if you have an alternative, like a fist bump, you still look bad.

The whole, “you’ll make time if you actually want to see me” thing. And I don’t completely disagree with it! But able bodied people need to realize disabled people need to spend a lot of time at doctor’s appointments, recovering, feeling sick/in pain, and resting and all that cuts into social time [especially for an introvert]. Not to mention all the places we can’t go due to mobility aids, lack of adequate seating/parking, sensory overload, financial burdens, having a compromised immune system, the list goes on.

I absolutely will make time for the people I care about, but usually it has to come after the time I make for my own health, safety, and well being.

Yeah I feel like for disabled people part of making that effort for someone entails some of it has to be on your own terms.

For me the abled friends I’ve kept around are the ones that are just as happy grabbing take out and eating it at my place as going out and other physically demanding things.

And yeah I tend to make plans like “If I don’t immediately pass out when I get home, lets hang out!”